To the Guy Who Didn’t Know We Were Dating

Just in case you’re wondering, yes, you read the title correctly. In order to explain the situation, I must explain what caused me to date someone who didn’t know we were dating. After seven and a half long years of doing the on and off thing with a guy who shall not be named, I was left broken hearted after he married someone else. I had no idea two days after reuniting during his military leave he would be married to another girl. Talk about shattered dreams; I never saw it coming. After three weeks of boohoo crying and drowning my sorrows in bottles of wine, I decided to come up for air and rejoin the world.

As I walked into the US Cafe, I had no intention of talking to anyone; I was just there to order teriyaki wings. I made my way to the counter and glanced up to see a handsome face with kind eyes staring at me. Feeling a bit flustered, I nervously began placing my to-go order. As I pulled out my money, he noticed my school id card and proceeded to make small talk about the school. I found our conversation and his energy to be refreshing. It had been a long time since I’d had a non-sexual conversation with a man. My food was ready and it was time to go. I left the restaurant and realized that I didn’t catch his name, but something told me to check the receipt, and there it was “Shannon.” Even his name was refreshing; I wasn’t expecting “Shannon” for a black guy.

The conversation with Shannon lingered in my mind for a few days, so I decided to take another trip to US Cafe. There he was again, handsome face and kind eyes. We talked about school and his aspirations of becoming an architect. He even sketched a small picture of a building and I could tell he was serious. He remembered that I told him about a test I was studying for during our previous conversation and he asked me how it went. This went on for about 6- 8 weeks. Although he probably thought I was only there for the food, I would go to US Cafe every week just to talk to him and feel his energy.

Shannon didn’t know it, but I was sort of dating him in my mind. I remember putting on a full face of makeup and cute outfits just to go up the street to US Cafe. I would try to figure out the restaurant’s slow times, so I could visit him and not have our conversations be repeatedly interrupted by customers walking in and out. To be honest, I would get a little jealous when he would talk to other customers. I know it sounds absolutely crazy, but I was just a broken-hearted girl who needed to experience a man in a different way. Even though I was kinda dating him in my mind and he was really starting to intrigue me, deep down I knew better than to read too much into it. I eventually stopped eating there after I gained a lot of weight and I could no longer afford to eat there. When I did return to the restaurant a few months later, Shannon no longer worked there.

I know Shannon will probably never read this, but this is something that has been on my mind for the past 14 months. Shannon changed my life! At a time when I was seriously hurting, he was there with his calm and kind demeanor. He made me forget about the pain, even if it was only for a few minutes, those minutes felt like hours. I learned that all men are not the same, because Shannon was proof. There are men out there who genuinely want to get to know you. He really helped me see men a different way. I will never forget how I felt in those moments with him and he will never know what he did for me.

Wherever you are Shannon, I pray that you have 10x the happiness you brought me and all of the love and success possible.